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This Is the Most Easily Believable Story About Donald Trump’s Marriage

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This week’s cover of Us Weekly bears a coverline that reads “MELANIA’S SECRETS.” What are those secrets? That she quietly believes Views is better than More Life but is too scared to express this on her favorite online forum, Rap Genius? No. It’s that she hates her husband and they never sleep in the same bed. The tabloid cites multiple sources alleging…