“Islam has rules for us … That makes me feel more strong”

Alia Al Absi was born in Jordan several decades after her family was expelled from Palestine, along with 700,000 other Arabs, during the 1948 Palestine War. In 2011, she and her young daughter came to the United States to visit her sister. Alia decided to stay — and she just became a U.S. citizen.

Some people think, “Oh, Islam is very strict and forces women to do this and that. Every problem is related to Islam.” But it’s not true. I live alone with my daughter. I can wear whatever I want! I married twice. I got divorced … I don’t want my daughter to see her mom live this life and think, “This is okay. The woman is supposed to be always under.” No. I want her to learn, “I’m strong. I can do my own stuff.”

Prophet Mohammed (alayhi as-salam), he used to help his wife, Aisha. He used to wash his clothes. He used to cook. He used to sweep the house. He’s the example for us. Whatever he does, we follow him. He respect, he loves the woman. I’m a human. God created me equal, as you. And now I live alone. I do all my stuff by myself. I don’t need a man to help me out!

I’m teaching my daughter about Islam. I’m letting her know everything about us. But I’m not forcing her, like, “You have to or you’re going to get in trouble.” This is not what Islam says. Islam says study the rules and understand why I have to wear hijab. If we understand why, we can do it without anybody forcing us.

Islam has rules for us. There’s a lot of structure for us. That makes me feel more strong, when I have that strength to follow these rules. The main idea for Muslims is that there is no god except Allah. I think many religions have that same idea, that there’s no god except one God. We don’t have any problem with any other religions. Like if I see Christian people, we are human at the end of the day! We love each other. Everybody chooses his life.

The most important thing we hope that people understand is that Islam is not terrorist at all. In Islam, when you fight with someone, it must be soldier to soldier. That’s it. Army to army. That’s it. Never, ever hurt woman, hurt baby, even cut trees. This is the rule of Islam. That’s what the Prophet Mohammed said. Islam is very simple, very clear. If anybody wants to be Muslim, you’re welcome. You don’t, that’s okay. It’s a life choice. The bad people, they are not Muslim, actually.