Man bites dog … while naked and high on meth

A man in Florida is facing several charges after he allegedly punched a deputy and then bit the ear of a K-9. He did it while he was buck naked, too, and apparently high on meth. According to police in Columbia County, officers were called to a residential complex in the appropriately named town of High Springs for a report of a man using methamphetamine and making strange noises. Officers then found the suspect in a shallow creek, naked and covered with mud and “pacing back and forth laughing” and making “an attempt at bird noises,” according to a police report. He fought with officers, punching one and proving immune to tasers. When the K-9, named Casper, was deployed, the suspect “got on his hands and knees and began to growl like a dog,” then wrestled with the animal and bit one of its ears. He was finally subdued and has been charged with simple battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence and aggravated battery on a service dog.

A parroted distress call

In another strange incident for Florida police, officers were called to a Lake Worth Beach residence after a neighbor reported hearing a woman screaming “Let me out! Let me out! Ohhh! Ohhh!” When they arrived at the home, though, police discovered that the “person” in distress was actually a 40-year-old parrot — named Rambo — that produced amazingly life-like calls. Turns out the homeowner was working on his wife’s car in the driveway while the parrot sat on an outside perch near the entrance of the house, singing and talking to itself. On the Facebook site of the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office, the homeowner, who was not identified, was quoted as saying that after police arrived at his home and explained they’d heard a report of a woman screaming for help. “I promptly introduced the officers to Rambo and we all had a good laugh … sometimes Rambo yells ‘help, help, let me out.’ Something I taught him when I was a kid and Rambo lived in a cage.”

Don’t let ‘em bite

In Edinboro, Pennsylvania, State Police are investigating a case of live bed bugs that were released in the changing room of the men’s department inside a Walmart last week. Store staff found a closed pill bottle containing the reddish-brown bed bug, about the size of Lincoln’s head on a penny, inside of a boy’s jacket in the store. A local pest control company was contacted and responded to the store, but how many bed bugs were found in the changing rooms was not reported.

So that’s why my kid has been acting out

Police in Massachusetts say a woman claiming to be a psychic stole over $70,000 from a female client by telling the woman that her (the client’s) 10-year-old daughter was possessed by a demon — and that she needed the money to banish the evil spirit from the girl. The 37-year-old defendant, of Somerset, has been charged with obtaining property by trick, along with larceny and witness intimidation, police said. Investigation into the incident began in December after the alleged victim reported that the defendant had also tricked her into handing over household items such as towels and bedding to battle the demon. Police also say allegations in the case date back to November, when the alleged victim went to the defendant’s business, Tracy’s Psychic Palm Reader, for a tarot card reading.

Be careful what you tweet

As a 27-year-old Canadian man recently found out, even complaining about your company’s holiday gift on social media can get you canned. After working for six years for a U.S.-based wholesaler of construction materials that operates in Canada, the Canadian man found himself fired on Dec. 30 after he tweeted his discontent with a $6 bottle of barbecue sauce given by the company. “What kind of multi-billion dollar company gifts its Canadian employees barbecue sauce as a holiday gift? Yet the USA employees stuff their face with an actual holiday gift box!” the man wrote on Twitter, including a photo of the sauce and tagging the company. For those curious, the sauce was a bottle of hickory-flavored “Get Sauced” barbecue sauce.