Phish fans take their personal space seriously, but one devoted follower has taken things a little too far. Brad Darling, 47, of Colorado Springs, CO has remained firmly planted on his tarp on the field at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park for a whopping 211 days since Phish last performed at the Commerce City soccer stadium on September 3rd, 2023. Now, the Phish “tarper” is causing problems for the venue’s approaching Colorado Rapids season opener.
The resistance began following the band’s 2023 summer tour-closing fourth night at Dick’s back in September. Incensed by the rain-delayed, single-set performance, Darling refused to move from his 10×10 spot—which he claims as his area—until the band returned for another set and made up for what he referred to as a “weak-ass” version of “Also Sprach Zarathustra”.
“I’ve been seeing Phish since 1993—143 shows in case you were wondering.” [Editor’s note: We weren’t.] “In all my years on tour, I’ve never seen such a pitiful performance. Well, except for Charleston 2019 night three,” Darling fumed to Live For Live Music from his tarp as he dodged an incoming free kick during a pre-season Rapids practice.
In the immediate aftermath of the 2023 summer tour closer, the venue staff at Dick’s saw Darling’s holdout as another amusing human interest story in a long line of memorable Phish Dick’s narratives stretching back more than a decade. Assuming he would lose interest eventually, venue operators allowed Darling to remain on his tarp when the stadium closed for the winter. Much to their surprise, when they returned to reopen for the 2024 MLS season, there was Brad—a bit frostbitten from the Colorado winter but completely undeterred from his mission.
Now, with the Colorado Rapids’ season opener against FC Dallas on April 20th fast approaching, Dick’s Sporting Good Park is in a race against the clock to pull off one of the most challenging achievements in the Phish universe: Getting a tarper to relinquish field real estate.
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While space-hungry tarpers have long been an unavoidable element of the Phish concert experience, the band has recently made moves to end the practice: In addition to laying out strict age guidelines (“Attendees 109 years or older must be accompanied by an adult between the ages of 73 and 81”), the FAQ page for Mondegreen, Phish’s August 2024 festival in Delaware, notes in no uncertain terms that tarps are prohibited on the festival grounds.
During a venue stakeholder meeting in Commerce City on Monday morning, the Dick’s management team laid out its plan to oust the lingering Phish fan before the Rapids season begins. Noting that the only proven way to compel a tarper to leave their tarp is to direct them toward the next show, the venue’s COO, Willie Long, explained, “With no other options at our disposal and the season bearing down on us, we have decided to offer Brad tickets to Sphere in Las Vegas. Today was the third time this week that we had to stop practice while he finished explaining to a player why ‘Most Shows Spell Something.’” He went on to refer to the stalemate with Darling as “the most frustrating thing to happen at Dick’s since the plague-ridden prairie dog fiasco of 2019.”
Brad is expected to accept the tickets, as Phish Sphere passes are some of the most sought-after in years and are currently fetching upwards of $400 a night on Stubhub. What Darling doesn’t know, however, is that the tickets are for Darren Aronofsky‘s Postcards From Earth immersive Sphere experience, not for Phish.
APRIL FOOLS!
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